Andropause
This is a term for the kind of physical and hormonal crisis that overtakes some men in mid-life. It can be accompanied by emotional and psychological problems as well, which we can call the mid-life crisis.
Some men experience no problems at all, some experience them mildly. Perhaps 25 percent of men are profoundly affected. Regardless of whether a man experiences the midlife crisis in any way, he will notice certain physical changes at this stage in his life. Just as oestrogen production diminishes in women, so testosterone levels are reduced in men. This is the andropause.
The physical consequences are: taking longer to achieve an erection, less strongly felt ejaculation and a longer refractory period – the time it takes a man to recover from one erection/ejaculation and be ready for another. On the other side of the equation, ejaculatory control may increase, and desire and pleasure may not be impaired and the man remains fully fertile.
Some men, however, go through a crisis which is about male identity, sexual attractiveness, lessening sex drive and overt sexuality, and a loss of their sense of maleness. They may question their virility (and perhaps seek to prove they are as “good” as they ever were by seeking out new sexual encounters). The centre for men’s health has a website which explains much of this.
Some men have a similar reaction to their gradually declining levels of strength and endurance. Far from accepting that these changes are natural and understandable, a minority of men will rebel and go all out to prove that they are still strong young men – which they simply cannot be. They may associate muscular strength with virility and indulge in all sorts of excessive behaviours to prove that there is no diminishment of their manhood. If a man responds in this way for any length of time, he may be building up problems for himself. But make no mistake about it, this is a real problem, and although it may be disguised by compensating behaviours, many men do need testosterone supplementation to stay healthy and sexually active.
Video – male andropause and midlife crisis – how do they differ?
As explained in this video, when a man does experience the psychological/emotional elements of the mid-life crisis, the indicators are likely to be vague and hard to assess. It is something more than the natural reflection of a middle-aged man on the direction his life has taken and on what the future holds, and seems to be more to do with a profound depression for no obvious reason and maybe some personality changes that put a strain on his relationships.
The duration of this period is highly variable. It may be concentrated into a few months or it may, on and off, last for several years at any time during a man’s 40s, 50s or early 60s.
Q. “I don’t know if I had a mid-life crisis or not, but in my early 50s I got very depressed, spent a lot of time thinking about my life and achievements. When I needed to be alone my family let me be and at other times they were there to cheer me up. Anyway, it just seemed to disappear. I don’t think I did anything unusual, I just started feeling like my old self again. When I look back at that time it was just a weird period.”
A: “For some men it is just that – a strange time of their lives. A period of private intensity, of serious reflection and planning, a time when their identity is explored and evaluated, and because of this very serious examination and appraisal, the man’s usual demeanor is changed, his moods may swing as he struggles to get a better sense of his identity and what he wants for himself and those around him. Your experience and your reaction to it sound very normal, and your family’s response sounds thoroughly sensible because of their sensitivity.”
Q. “I read about a 55-year-old guy who had low testosterone and high levels of PSA in his bloodstream. Is there a connection?
A: “Not necessarily. You can get information on the subject of prostate problems here – know your prostate.
The most likely change in people’s sexual expression in later years is some degree of slowing up. All the other changes are conditional upon circumstances: society does not really expect older people to have sex and so, in order to conform with what is expected, many individuals will try and avoid it. Not only that, but the older a person is, the greater the likelihood of some significant physical impairment that can adversely affect sexual expression. And, obviously, partners die, and for many reasons new ones are hard to find. Finally, lack of privacy can also be a problem for older people who are no longer living independently in their own homes. Older people need support so that they feel their sexual behavior is a matter of their choice, not of restrictive societal expectation.
How can therapy help in the mid-life crisis?
In many cases, support for the physical and emotional changes which someone is going through can make a huge difference to the ease with which a man navigates this period of life. Psychotherapy and counselling can be very helpful. One particularly helpful form of therapy is shadow work. If you’d like to explore what this type of supportive therapy can offer you, here are the name of some shadow work facilitators – Dan Hartley. Shadow work practitioner Fran Cabeza West. Shadow work facilitator and therapist Rod Boothroyd. And Conroy Harris, also an experienced shadow work facilitator.
In such supportive processes, these are some of the most important factors that need to be considered:
- Sexual interest and sexual pleasure are not related to age
- General health, and testosterone levels
- Changes that occur during andropause and the male midlife crisis do not signal the end of sexual expression or desire
- Reduced frequency of sexual activity is not a sign of a physical or emotional problem in later years, nor does it impair sexual fulfilment
- Frequency of sexual activity in later years has a relationship to health and well-being
- All kinds of sexual connection are important expressions of love and affection at every stage of the life cycle
- Continuing interest in sex in later years is normal
- Physical disorders may require some modification to the manner of sexual expression, but not end it.
- Barriers to active sexual expression in later years include boredom, overindulgence in food and drink, and fatigue due to poor physical condition
- Reduced sexual activity in later years is often the result of low testosterone, and a check up may help clarify this.
Q. “What do widows and widowers do for sex?”
A: “Part of the expression of grief when a partner dies is very often a temporary loss of interest in sex, but as the survivor comes to terms with his or her grief, sexual interest usually revives. It is however much more difficult to find a new partner in one’s 70s than in one’s 20s. Retirement communities and senior citizen centres need to provide places for older people to meet and form new relationships. Sometimes these relationships become permanent, as in marriage or living together, or each person may maintain an independent life but have a regular, affectionate relationship in which sexual activity is included. Unfortunately, some older people suffer considerable guilt about having sex with a new partner, but with time, patience and understanding such guilt usually passes.”